Friday, March 16, 2007

The "Not-So-Rosy" Part

During the 16 month wait I discovered a great place on line to keep me in touch with others also waiting. The Rumor Queen blog ( had its share of controversy, but without it I would have been completely clueless in this complicated and tedious process. The Queen, a fellow adoptive mom, published an article called “The Not-So-Rosy Part”. It was a reminder to all of us that these children who were to be placed into our arms were not just little beautiful bundles of joy, but that they were coming to us with a past, even if it was a brief past.
So many of the articles we see posted only show the positive sides. Isn’t it wonderful that we can share our joys our children bring us? But the point is that many people, prospective adoptive parent in particular, see only the successes we’ve experienced and don't realize the difficulties. I see that in my own blog. Maybe, perhaps, because I’ve had biological children it was an understood part of parenthood that there would be dark days. With children there will always be some hardships, some phases they must pass through, but I am finding out that with an adoptive child I have more areas where I am clueless.
For the most part, Mia has come to us without hesitation and has seems to feel totally at home with us. But still I’ve wondered how much she remembers of her foster family. She is so loving. Someone has shown her much love and laughter before us. Mia is smart and has a good memory. She mimics and remembers the “tricks” we teach her easily. Does she stop and ponder the people she no longer sees and the games she played with them? I see her especially thoughtful with persons who have dark hair and eyes, very solemn in fact. Older people and men get the same deep looks. Did an elderly man live and care for her? I’ll never know.
For almost a month now we’ve been home. Mia has been sleeping, eating, and interacting wonderfully, until the past week. Though her day-time schedule is still going smoothly and she’s eating, napping and eating good, her nights have been disturbing. She’s waking nightly before 1 a.m. and not going back to sleep easily. Sometimes she’s refusing to lay down. Sometimes she’s just tossing and turning and crying out every few minutes. We’ve tried almost every trick we know and have reviewed every possible thing that could be triggering her sleeplessness, but we are clueless. My thoughts go back to the article by the Rumor Queen. Could this be part of the attachment process? Could Mia be working out the changes in her life subconsciously? It’s quiet possible. I look at this happy, funny girl and see her so exuberant and think, “how can anything but joy be in her heart”. But because I don’t know her past, I’ll always wonder what is going on in her brain that she can’t begin to comprehend.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Musical Mia

We noticed pretty quickly that Mia was familiar with music. She clapped her hands within a few days of getting her so I knew she'd been exposed in some way. Her love for music is something our family enjoys nurturing. Already she's got quite a repetoir developing. Her favorites, please don't blame her, she's not been able to pick these herself, are "Barbara Ann" from the Beach Boys and "Clap Your Hands All Ye People". We are working on "Put Your Little Foot" and an original composed by me! I love to sing little ditties to her like: "Mia Yunzhu, Mia Yunzhu, I love you, I love you. You're my precious daughter, you're my precious daughter, I love you, I love you" sung to the tune of "Are you Sleeping". Yes, I know, not real original, but she's learning her name and she's especially cute when she drops everything to rock and clap along. Wednesday is children's choir night so we've been going and listening in on Michaela and the others as they learn a new musical called "Praise Rocks". Mia, who's usually napping at this time, decided to wake up, and raised her arms charismatically as she sang along.
Others are helping to cultivate her musical talent too. Her Nana bought her the little toy piano in the above photo. She's hilarious when giving her performances. They get better and better with each practice session. Elliott, too, is in on the lessons. He's home for a week now for spring break. Often they sit at the "big" piano singing and playing away. There's a song in our hearts that has replaced those empty days and silent days of waiting.